Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML
Today, I found my dog drinking out of the toilet. My daughter was next to him, also drinking from the toilet. FML
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