Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML
Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of trick or treaters. It was actually a naked man. He wanted to come in. FML
Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML
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