hannahschrager

Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML

MY wedding, MINE

Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML

The cliché

Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML

Dumbass customers

Today, I had a customer scream at me for ruining their child's birthday party. They had bought a Piñata from me and didn't know they had to fill it themselves. The kids had hit it open and it was empty. FML

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

First and last date

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML