DarkMatter115

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Darkmatter115's FML badges

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Darkmatter115's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 24/09/2015 17:07 - United States - Richmond

Today, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to one another. He then did a naked victory lap around his dad's house, blasting Akon's "I Just Had Sex" at full volume. He's legally an adult. FML

agreeclassic 31 603

vote type 1 6 100

By Anonymous - 11/09/2015 17:25 - United States - Blairstown

Today, someone photoshopped my head onto some nude girl's body and spread it around at school. It was shockingly convincing. Now everyone's calling me a slut, and the worst part is I have no idea which photo the person used or where they got it from, so I can't prove it's a fake. FML

agreeclassic 28 663

vote type 1 1 768

By BrittUnicorn - 06/07/2015 15:14 - United States - Morristown

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

agreeclassic 30 656

vote type 1 3 680

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

agreeclassic 33 265

vote type 1 12 879

Good boy

By anonymous - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Knoxville

Today, my fiancé threatened to break up with me if our dog couldn't be the best man at our wedding. FML

agreeclassic 36 141

vote type 1 7 239