Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML
paganxpoisonivy_fml
Mademoiselle 34 ans
Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML