Liz23Ilia

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML

Todd is fine, and you?

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the third person. Seriously. FML

How dare you?

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML