linziee

Today, I realised that the most kisses I ever get are in text messages from my Dad. FML

Taxi driver

Today, the girl I like was panicking because her car broke down, so I offered her a lift to wherever she needed to be. I drove her to her boyfriend's house. She asked me to drive her home in the morning. FML

Bored out of our minds

Today, I was so bored at work that I put a zip tie on my finger just for the excitement of trying to get it off. FML

Slip up

Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML