Today, I was invited to a special meal for receiving a scholarship from my college. My mom refuses to take me because “your sister’s going there too and didn’t get a scholarship; it wouldn’t be fair to her.” I guess fairness doesn’t apply to me. FML
Today, I moved into a new downstairs flat. I promptly fell down said stairs. I have a broken pelvis now and can't walk or go down steps for 3 months. FML
Today, it doesn’t matter that I had major surgery on my hand 2 days ago and am supposed to be on bed rest with no hand movement for 3 weeks. According to my father and my husband, it doesn’t excuse me from wifely house duties and being the sole caretaker of our one-year-old. FML
Today, I came out to my parents as trans. They immediately took my remaining college savings, canceled my credit card, and began plotting to abduct me and "wean me off hormones, like a heroin addict." FML
Today, it took me four tries to find the right position to swipe my debit card. My mom screamed, "Oh, for God's sake, why don't you ever get it right the FIRST time?" She then apologized to the cashier for having "such a stupid child." FML
Today, after I got fed up and told my bullying step-brother exactly what I thought of him, he became overly polite. He then admitted that me shouting at him was the most turned on he's ever been in his life. Now he loves me and wants to be my "submissive" boyfriend. FML
Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML
Today, I proposed to my boyfriend of 13 years. He broke up with me because "Chicks can't propose, that's gay!" FML
Today, my brother bragged about the number of break-up texts he sent this week while driving. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he was dating 3 girls, that he broke up with them over text, that he was texting and driving, or that he's proud of his actions. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML
Today, I tried to explain my 8-year-old son that my fiancée was going to be his stepmother. Little did I know, he watched Coraline last week. Now he thinks she's his "other mother" and won't go anywhere near her. FML
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