Hanicake

Today, I realized that when my boyfriend said, "I'll love you forever" what he really meant was, "I'll love you until I meet your significantly more attractive sister." FML

Today, was the third day of my camping trip with my "friends". I woke up in my boxers with my hand glued to my forehead. FML

Today, my mother wore a see through shirt. She wasn't wearing a bra. FML

Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML

Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML

Today, I bought tickets for my friends and me to go to a concert. While I was in the shower, they ditched me and took my girlfriend. FML

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. When I got home to show my family, my little sister said, "That's so fake!" and tore it off my face. FML

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML