radarie

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

10 out of 10 for originality

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML