Monsieur Mecca
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my boyfriend said to me, "You know how I know I love you? I don't want you to leave after we have sex." He thinks that's a compliment. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML
Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML
Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML
Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great… we graduated high school together. FML
Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML
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