Today, I finally gave the guy I was with for over a year a blowjob. Right after he tells me "I don't want a girlfriend but I want you to be my best friend." FML
Today, I went to the hospital to get my ingrown toenail removed. The doctors put me on a little surgery table and told me to relax. They then injected anesthetic into my toe four times and used a pair of scissors to slowly cut through my nail. Only, the anesthetic hadn't started to work just yet. FML
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