crash819

1374

Longview, U.S.A.
29
Tuesday 20 August 1996

Crash819

Hey I'm Ian, I play soccer, like to hang out with friends, play video games, and consider myself nice the majority of the time. If you wanna know anything else just message me I guess.

Crash819 -

Crash819

lovers5201

RawrFreckl...

Music_Gal9...

apimuna

carleybeak

Unidentifi...

Leigghhh

darlin1999

Emi1y

1996sexy

SilverInGr...

Callilah

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Crash819

Caught off guard

dooommage - - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

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Alexa, play "I Ran" by A Flock of Seagulls

John - 10/07/2013 02:48 - United States

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

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tinypenis - 04/06/2013 12:15 - United States - Jamaica

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

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Snorlax - 13/04/2013 04:25 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

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Lilypad - 12/03/2013 00:21 - France - Versailles

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

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