Mademoiselle 28 ans Célibataire
Today, I watched my best friend get married to the guy I have been in love with since the eighth grade. I was the maid of honor, and had to give a toast to the couple. FML
Today, was my birthday. I asked for a camera - nothing fancy, just a basic digital camera. My mother bought my brother a fancy digital camera, with all the accessories, for over £200. She then gave me his old, analogue camera, that I can't get film for anymore. He hates taking photos. FML
Today, I discovered that my name literally means "burden". This wouldn't be so bad if both my mother and father knew this when they named me. FML
Today, after telling me his other girlfriend is pregnant, my boyfriend said we should stay together so I could help out with the baby. FML
Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML
Today, my mom convinced me that she and my dad were getting divorced. I have anxiety problems, so I had a panic attack. She then laughed, and said, "Just kidding, I wanted to see your reaction. It's the best so far." FML
Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML
Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML
Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML
Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were going to sext before going to sleep. It was very late, but I said I'd stay up for him. He sent a text asking me if I was ready. Me replying "yes" was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep on my horny boyfriend. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
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