Today, while at my friend's house, I noticed her brother had a bit of an accent. I laughingly said "Is it me or does your little brother have an accent?" She stared and replied with "No, he has autism." FML
DeathSmil3
Uh oh
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML
Humpty Dumpy
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
Healthy hair tips
Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML