Today, I spent all day handing out flyers advertising my services as a psychic. I got only one call. The caller wanted to inform me that I had misspelt the word "psychic" on my flyer. She was right. FML
mr_freak
Monsieur lawrence, usa 41 ans
Just a prank, bro
Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML
Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML
Today, I congratulated a bride standing in front of a church in a white dress. Turns out she'd been stood up at the altar. She thrashed me with her bouquet. FML
The truth
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
DELETE! DELETE!
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I'd left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML