Ced1214

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

Today, I was looking at some comments on a silly YouTube video of me dancing with some friends. Someone posted a comment saying "Girl on the right is hot!!!." Next to that, it had about 31 thumbs down. I'm the girl on the right. FML

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML

Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML

Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML

Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML

Today, I saw my brother on TV after 3 years of no contact. He was being arrested on Cops. FML

Fixed it

Today, I noticed that a picture of me on my mum and dad's wall looked different. On closer inspection, I realised they'd recently painted over my teeth with white paint. I asked them why, and they said they looked 'discoloured'. It's my wedding photo. FML