Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML
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