nynieninja

Today, I asked my grandpa why he spoils me so much. He told me it's because he truly believes no one else will ever want to. FML

Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML

Today, like every other day at work, I had to listen to people talk about being addicted to sex. I have to treat people for addiction to something I've never even had. FML

Cheers

Today, my mom sent me a picture of a blank piece of paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

Today, at 2:00 am, my neighbor discovered "What Does The Fox Say?" He loves it. FML

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML