Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML
Dide9872
Monsieur
Wildin'
Today, I had to tell some of my students to stop eating glue. I teach high school. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate when she pulled me in close and whispered in my ear, "We're getting Chips Ahoy after this." I came. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML
What a thoughtful gift
Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML