Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML
Today, I walked out and saw four kids mercilessly keying my car. When I questioned them on it, they said "Oh, that was your car? Oh well at least we didn't pee on your door handles too." FML
Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML
Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, I realized I'm too short to use the urinals at work. FML
Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML
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