Today, I was checking out of a hotel when I saw some complementary mints. They weren't mints. They were glass beads. FML
Today, my eight-year-old brother told his classmates that I have cancer. Nope, just really bad acne. FML
Today, I realized how weak I truly am when I tore a muscle in my hand trying to discreetly fix a wedgie. FML
Today, I was in a good mood for once, but my professor looked at me and said, "I don't know what you ate for breakfast but you're really annoying today." FML
Today, it's the last night before a concert. Today is also the day my brother pawned my clarinet for drug money. FML
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