Today, I ran into a police officer while on my bike. It wouldn't be so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse. FML
Chinchillazllla
Damn, son
Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML
Today, I had to purchase a new flat screen TV for the bar I work at. Last night I was dared to break an ashtray against the wall. I completely missed the wall and smashed the screen of the new TV they bought last month. FML
Breaking news
Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML