porcelainkisses

Today, I had to explain to my 14-year-old sister why one must not wear the same pair of knickers for a week. FML

Gross, so gross

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

Mixing it up

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML

Ruined

Today, my immature step-father rubbed my head, destroying the $300 hairdo that took two and a half hours to finish. Three minutes before my wedding ceremony. FML

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML

Today, I found out that my estranged daughter has been married for five years. I wasn't told of or invited to their wedding, and the only reason I know now is because she needs money for a divorce lawyer. FML