Gundel

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

Today, I was attacked by a duck. I thought I was higher on the food chain than that. FML

Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML

Icona Pop, I assume

Today, I crashed my car into a bridge, while playing a song with the line, "I crashed my car into a bridge". FML

Today, my classic car that I've put hours of wrench time into burst into flames when I tried to start it. FML