bsitwzac

Mystery

Today, I found out my 19 year-old daughter is pregnant. The father is a toss up between my 45 year-old best friend, and the 30 year-old guy who cleans our pool. FML

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML