manderson1395

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

If only…

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML