omegapig

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me 17 years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML