chudun

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

Today, I was replaced in the symphony I play in. I play the clarinet, and a standard symphony only uses two, so getting into one can be quite competitive. My conductor's reasoning? "I was sure you were going to college." I never mentioned college to him, other than saying I wasn't going. FML

Today, I was short on money for bills, so I pulled out my alto saxophone, knowing that no matter how much I loved it, I'd be able pay my rent with the money. As I pulled it out of its case, the neck strap broke and I dropped it, breaking the bell beyond repair. Now I'm poor AND depressed. FML

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

Today, I found out about my sister's insanely detailed plan to abduct my one-year-old son and raise him as her own on another continent. All my mom did was tell me not to worry because she can't afford to move that far away. FML

Today, I discovered that my band section had misspelled my name as "Joke" on our section poster. On purpose. It's supposed to be Jake. FML