Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
onthatDKstuff
Monsieur Texas born and bred, 'Merica 32 ans En couple
offbeans
United States
sucks at sucking
Bournemouth, United Kingdom 🌶️ Épicée
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML