Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML
Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML
Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML
Today, the only reason I work 12-hour shifts and close at midnight every Saturday is because my boss doesn't like the fact that I have a boyfriend. FML
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