Rainbowjumper0

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

Today, I told my students that I would be taking a few weeks off because a member of my family is very ill. They all cheered. FML

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

Today, I got fired from the job I'd had for eleven years for going onto Facebook while on the clock. When I got home, I saw that my boss had updated his status, from work, to "Finally fired that bitch." FML

Nice meeting you

Today, my boss finally pronounced my name correctly. My name was then followed by the words, "You're fired." FML

Today, I realized that before I can legally drink, I will have been married, divorced, and pregnant. FML

Today, I found my iPhone. Too bad it was when I was getting my clothes out of the washer. FML

Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML

Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML

Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML