kAPISH

Today, while my girlfriend was playing a game on my phone, an unknown number sent me a nude picture and the words "Miss you, baby." This person's mistake just cost me a black eye, and probably my relationship too. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

Today, my 4 year-old grand-daughter let her pet rabbit loose in the yard, while my 2 year-old grandson was trying to climb on a chair, then a table. I had to choose between catching the rabbit before it ran under the fence, or saving my grandson from falling on the concrete terrace. FML