unicorngurl

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

Forever alone

Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML