tay_arredondo

Today, I hit a horrible tee shot from the 18th hole. I decided to use my driver to take my frustration out on a nearby bush. The bees who lived in that bush decided to use their stingers to take out their frustration up inside my golf shorts. FML

Prank war W

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

Chain of command

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

Today, I was working out with the guy I like when he spilled his water bottle. I went to clean up the spill, bashed my face into the weight bar, which broke my nose. FML