imura

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike to work. In the hospital, every single nurse lectured me about how I wouldn't be here if I wore a helmet, which I'm sure would be really helpful to my broken leg. FML

Catfishing 101

Today, I realized the sweet, sensitive girl I was talking to on a dating site was actually my brother trolling me for fun. FML

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to bend my iPhone 6 like there's no tomorrow. FML

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

Today, as I was waiting in line at the check out, some guy came up behind me, plucked a hair out of my head, and ran off with it. FML

Today, I found a very light blonde long hair on my marital bed's pillow. I confronted my husband about it and after hours of arguments and me throwing his stuff out of the house, I found another. Attached to my head. My husband isn't having an affair, I'm just going grey. FML