senordepaz

Hand shandy

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we'd ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand into his boxers, he stood up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML