Mademoiselle Hazard 31 ans Célibataire
Today, a customer gave me the dirtiest look ever and muttered, "Goody two-shoes prick" after I asked if he'd like to donate a few cents to charity. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML
Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang. I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML
Today, while stocking the green beans at work, I picked up a "leaf" which turned out to be a grasshopper. I screamed so loud, my coworkers now think I'm crazy. This is only my second week here. FML
Today, my untrained legs have been traumatised by the sudden regime of squats, mountain climbers and lunges I have been putting them through. I literally just have to trust-fall back onto the toilet and hope for the best, because my legs don't have the strength to support the gradual descent. FML
Today, I realized how stagnant my life has become when, while eating some leftover salad with crackers I'd left out the night before, I decided to open some new crackers and put them with the stale, and giggled to myself about the excitement of "cracker roulette." FML
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