Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML
Today, I found out that my now-ex slept with his not-so-ex the day before our wedding. FML
Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML
Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML
Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
Today, I broke up with my now ex-girlfriend for the 5th time. She still hasn't got the hint. FML
Today, my sister told me she didn’t want me in her wedding pictures because I looked fat in my bridesmaid's dress. FML
Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML
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