nqtalie

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

Today, my parents brought me an ice cream birthday cake. I would think after 23 years they would remember my lactose intolerance. FML