Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML
KCC25
Milked Richard
Wagga Wagga, Australia
Anonymous
Moorpark, United States
Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML
Josh
Fenton, United States
Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML