Mademoiselle 27 ans En couple
Today, after going on a blind date with a man I'd met on Facebook, we went back to his apartment. All was going good, until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML
Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML
Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML
Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML
Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML
Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML
Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML
Today, I was accused of shooting up drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML
Today, after working at my job for months, I quit. Why? My boss tried to convince me that we are in a secret relationship, after he told me he loved me. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML
Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML
Today, my boss declared total bankruptcy of the company and I lost my job. The good news is my coworkers and I all received McDonald's 10%-off coupons. They expired in 2003. FML
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