Today, I was trying to exercise more, so I went for a walk. I was quickly overtaken by a middle-aged lady with cankles, carrying heavy shopping bags in each hand. I'm 19, skinny, and apparently very unfit. FML
Today, a stranger had a go at me for smoking while pregnant. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I found out that my "girlfriend" is only with me for free transportation. She even has my contact saved as the car emoji. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. It was painful, but not as painful as my boyfriend asking afterwards: "Um... did you use to be a guy?" FML
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