Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML
Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
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