Monsieur Hoschton, United States 26 ans En couple
Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML
Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on energy. When I laid down in bed, I saw the lights turn on from downstairs to the kitchen. I live alone. FML
Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML
Today, I found out that my crush of a few years likes me. How? Her boyfriend told me, followed by a punch in the face. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate's friend rustling in the attic without permission to be there. When I asked how he got in with all doors and windows locked, he simply said, "It's a secret." FML
Today, my girlfriend read an FML by some guy about fight he had with his nutjob of a girlfriend. It was so bizarrely similar to a fight we had recently that she accused me of not having any balls and bitching about her to strangers. It wasn't even my story. FML
Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML
Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML
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