Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I spent the day sobbing in my bedroom and talking shit about him on Facebook after blocking him. He ended up changing his mind and calling me, asking me to take him back. Now I have to awkwardly explain to everyone that we're back together. FML
pigmansam
En couple
Are you experienced?
Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML
Today, my boyfriend was putting baby powder on my bare ass, when his dad walked into the room, casually set a laundry basket next to the bed, and walked out like nothing happened. FML
I'll take what I can get
Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML
Heartless swine
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML