Junior Ivy

shannon · 2 avril 2021, 20:59

Who are you?

Today, I asked my coworker for her name. She screamed at me because apparently I'd already asked her 5 times before. I have no memory of any of it. FML

Je valide, c'est une VDM 838 Tu l'as bien mérité 279

2 commentaires Partager

Ballprankster · 2 avril 2021, 22:57 ·New York, United States

April Fool's

Today, I wanted to prank my husband and filled a kitchen cabinet with tennis balls. Not sure what was funnier, seeing his reaction when all the balls fell out, or the fact that before he got home, I forgot that I had placed the balls there and opened the cabinet myself. Twice. FML

Je valide, c'est une VDM 333 Tu l'as bien mérité 1 481

1 commentaire Partager

Anonymous · 31 mars 2021, 13:58 ·Bruchsal, Germany

Lookalikes

Today, my boyfriend told me that his daughter only liked me because she thought that we look like siblings. FML

Je valide, c'est une VDM 783 Tu l'as bien mérité 98

1 commentaire Partager

Anonymous · 28 mars 2021, 14:01

No thanks

Today, it's been since 2014 that I've been looking for a girlfriend, and the average response I've gotten was no. Today I got, "Ew, hell no." FML

Je valide, c'est une VDM 917 Tu l'as bien mérité 189

5 commentaires Partager

Into the darkness · 30 mars 2021, 21:30

Losing more than I'll ever have

Today, my girlfriend left me. When she moved out, she even took the light bulbs with her. FML

Je valide, c'est une VDM 1 018 Tu l'as bien mérité 122

8 commentaires Partager

First date · 30 mars 2021, 02:00

Nerves, dear?

Today, on my first date with a guy I really like, I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. FML

Je valide, c'est une VDM 886 Tu l'as bien mérité 154

3 commentaires Partager

Anonymous · 30 mars 2021, 04:59 ·Crystal City, United States

TMI

Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML

Je valide, c'est une VDM 963 Tu l'as bien mérité 119

2 commentaires Partager

Anonymous · 29 mars 2021, 00:30 🌶️ Épicée

Awkward

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to cuddle as we usually do. To prepare for this, the first thing I always do is dive into bed. This time, I felt something squishy under the covers, and screamed when I saw it was a Fleshlight. FML

Je valide, c'est une VDM 627 Tu l'as bien mérité 923

7 commentaires Partager

bad sis sad sis · 24 septembre 2020, 02:01 🌶️ Épicée

Snitches get stitches

Today, I told my mom that I walked in on my sister and her boyfriend having sex. My mom flew into a rage and slapped me several times, calling me a liar and made me apologize to my sister for saying something “so disgusting” about her. I wasn’t lying and she just smirked the whole time. FML

Je valide, c'est une VDM 1 534 Tu l'as bien mérité 865

19 commentaires Partager