Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
DeathDemon_fml
Monsieur Vancouver, Canada
Blown job
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Thick as thieves
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the same store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML