Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML
kingthenathan
Anonymous
Mahwah, United States
Anonymous
Watchung, United States 🌶️ Épicée
Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Épicée
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML