Madame Los Angeles En couple
Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to ask what the weird white lump was on my back, and if it was cancer. He told me it was the biggest pimple he'd ever seen. FML
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML
Today, I went to an underwear shop. An employee suggested me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML
Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML
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